He150ken. A delayed treat.


He159ken as a delayed treat tonight. I was supposed to have a beer on Friday, but for whatever reason, I didn’t pick one up. Not that I actually go to shops to buy things, but I didn’t get it with the usual Deliveroo shop on a Thursday to D’s house, to then take back with me to Das Motel.

So yes, He159ken, as it’s known this year, is quite a nice break from the odd ales that I would pick from. My dad used to work at the He159ken brewery in Holland. I think that might have led to my decision. I feel so sorry for the delivery people today though. so we had 4 deliveries at D’s house. I’m sure the neighbors must think bad things, but I had Amazon dropping off a game for me and R to play next time she visits, which will be here at the motel. But we will be going to a cafe to have tea and cake, then back here for board games. I need to check if we could sit in the function room here as more space to play.

Aside from the game, two food shops came in for treats for everyone, and then a beer shop with two bottles. There was an offer on for £7 for two and no delivery fees, which isn’t that bad. I know it’s cheaper to walk to the shop but don’t know if I could last that long. Although thinking about it, I should have tried. My head is still a bit wobbly from yesterday’s denting.

I spent the day at D’s, which was oddly enjoyable. It was nice spending some time with B when D went out to collect S. I got the Nintendo Switches all sorted for B, S, R, and me with a yearly family pass thing. £45, including the expansion packs, which was a really good deal. You can have up to 8 people in the group, so 4 left. I’m not sure if you all have to be under the same roof, but it’s working for R, who doesn’t live at D’s, so should be fine.

I think I expect too much of the kids now that they are teenagers. So hanging out with Dad isn’t cool anymore or anything, but it makes me a little sad. I asked a few times, went to their rooms, and no. S was in a sulk, and B just wanted to play on his machine, even though I charged and set up his Switch to run from the group account so he can get all the family perks. I did get a goodbye by him yelling from a closed door, so I guess that’s something?

So I’m back at the motel now; the heating has been on, so I’m nice and warm for a change. I dropped my washing off with reception for two loads (£5 per load), not expecting it to be ready for a week, but they left it today in my room, all washed, dried, and folded. Awesome. D also washed one of my jumpers, so at least I’ll be warm during the day when the heating’s off or if I go meet people I was supposed to meet in town, but I’ll try that again this week.

My psychotherapy has also come through after a 3-year wait. That starts on Thursday at the hospital for 1 hour a week. I had the respiratory clinic on Friday, and they think I have COPD, which makes sense when I smoked from 13 all the way till I was 30, so pretty much no new treatment. Take the blue inhaler when I need to and take the purple/brown one a day. Come back every year for a check-up.

I think I’ve turned another corner with me and D and moving on with stuff, I don’t have gut-wrenching agony when I leave, and I’m starting to see D as a friend more than anything else. I still need to stop buying her random treats when I order stuff, but that’s more a habit and a recognition that she deserves it for doing everything.

The D-day is finally coming towards us for the flat. I just need to get inside and see what I need and what I want to do. Considering I’m putting all my eggs in one basket, I really hope the place is okay in terms of neighbors, space, and things like that. They made it clear that if I reject this one, I will lose my homeless status, and I’d have to bid for houses and have the customary 1-year wait. But yeah, that’s where I’m up to with things.


Beer = win.
Kids could be better but all part of growing up. No heart breaking when I leave D’s house, and generally in a good place today for a change, which is awesome.

The order of things

It’s been a mixed bag of sorts this past week, to be honest. I don’t have the keys for the flat, and I get the answer of “They are still working on it,” which is very useful. I wonder who the last tenant was and how much destruction was involved.

I had some nightmares I couldn’t wake up from, which was a tad annoying. I was up at 5:20 am doing bits and bobs. Then I was cold, so I went back to bed at 9 am. By 11 am, I woke up after stupid dreams. It left me angry and agitated. I hate when that happens. You’re trapped in a flashback, and no matter what you do, you can’t change the thing that is happening to you, and you are powerless. Then you realize you are sleeping. What’s the fastest way to wake yourself up? Eyes. So you’re stuck in a dream, trying to force your eyes open until you wake up and the whole miserable thing ends. You then vow never to sleep again. So let’s see how that one plays out.

The two consultants I saw on Friday were so bad that I raised a formal complaint. As mental health consultants, they should know when they are manipulating or gaslighting. My CPN is looking into it as well.

Yesterday, I was at D’s house babysitting. I managed to get some work done on the computer that is there. Then I opened up a port so I can connect in. As the IP address isn’t static, I’ve knocked up a script hooked up to a cron job, so it lets me know when it’s changed.

How was your weekend?

2. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Good question.

Part of me sees me building up the various websites and assets I own into a full-scale proper business. Along the lines of digital device procurement, refurbishment and release into the community. The only problem with the whole model is that it’s a free service supported by government grants and social funds. I have started to make way with Busy Bee Tech, which needs a new name, in creating content for the digital poverty the country is facing and the solutions we have to counteract it. So that’s slowly starting to generate traffic through keywords. I’ve also been sharing the articles from the Busy Bee Tech site on LinkedIn.

I would love to own property, ideally, a flat that I can rent out. Or a static home near Whitby that I can run away to whenever I want and have the kids come with me.

I would like to think I’m fitter, less fat and more agile than I am now.

Not having killed someone, would be good and is a constant worry.

Having my own house/flat, where the kids can come over whenever they like and stay for as long as they want and do what they want.

Alive. With no more surprise health conditions would be nice.

Not in a motel that’s for damn sure!

Onwards and upwards