It’s been a weird day. I was supposed to go see the kids, but I had 3 seizures last night and didn’t fall asleep until 6am. So when I got up at 11am, I was very groggy. I banged my forehead again (zero recollection) and lost 3 hours. Then it happened again at midnight and then an hour at 2.30am. I can still hardly walk to the bathroom and back. Hell, even typing this is difficult as my fingers are still cold (heating is on). Staring at the screen makes me want to throw up.
Oh wait there is more moaning
I got everything ready for a shower the other day. Due to mental health reasons, I don’t shower as much, so I sink-wash. But when I work myself up enough, I go for a proper shower. Moving on, I got into the shower, turned it on, and started doing my hair. Then I noticed the drain is clogged. Since it’s a walk-in shower, it rapidly overflowed. I stopped the shower, got out, and tried to see what’s clogging it, but couldn’t.
Then the pain started as soon as I got up. It felt like someone stabbed me in the lower back, poured petrol on it, and lit it. So, back to being on hands and knees, wet and freezing. Stupid me didn’t take my stick with me, so I managed to grab a towel and dry myself on the floor. Then, hands and knees to my stick, then over to the chair and pulled myself up before getting some painkillers. The bathroom is a mess, but I thought I’ll take care of it later. Ugh. Frikkin’ showers. I told the receptionist that it’s broken, and she smiled and said, “Oh, I don’t know how to fix that, but I’ll leave them a note. It will be Monday or Tuesday, I’m guessing.” Stupid seizures, stupid shower and stupid me.
Today i’ve pretty much done nothing. watched some random stuff and playing a game and annoying people online.
A dull post am afraid.
I will be 40 in a few months and it feels like I should be thinking about the future. About what I want out of life, what I want to do with life, and how to exist. Should I retrain into a new profession, or should I stop the charity work for paid work? What lessons can I teach my son, what experiences have they had? They are growing up now too. B is going to be 12 and R is 13! The things they like are so different now and I think I miss them being small. I never thought that, I always wished they would be teenagers and sleep all the time but now I miss them. What is life like, post-kids? we want to buy a house but struggling with the deposit. The price here in Manchester is crazy so we are looking at Scotland near Saltcoats. Cheaper and bigger houses just be a shame to move the kids while they are in school still.
Trying to figure out if this is a midlife crisis where I miss everything, want to change and try new things and explore the world more. I was very lucky when I was young as my parents took us on trips around the world, going to different places. I thought I would have found my place in the world by now.
D is taking the kids on holiday. B first to Germany for a few days and then probably Spain with S. I will be at home for both trips, staying with the dogs, and because I trigger B. Dont know what to say about that really.
Rambling blog post today
- What are your values? What is important to you? What do you want to achieve in life?
- What are your strengths and weaknesses? What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing?
- What are your dreams and goals? What do you want to accomplish in the next 5, 10, or 20 years?
I blinked and it became Friday. Partially because I had the day off yesterday. Although John from work summed it up, its not really a day off when you do the next days work the day before in the evening. Alas, it was the only way I could get time off, work till 10pm at night.
It was worth it though.
I then had a lovely lazy day walking around the nice air conditioned Trafford centre, fighting past the
zombie hoards of people collecing the new iPhone things.
They have a really good shop there, well, apart from Selfridges which I think is awesome, a place called Home Sense where they sell the most random things. I got a parker pen. I’ve never had a proper pen so its nice to have something posh to use in meetings and things.
Molly has started leaving presents of hair around the house.
Note to self: Return the favour and put beard trimmings in her basket.
I woke up at 8am. I though it was 6am. It was crap.Stuff like that always messes up the day!
Baby is now 5.6″ and weighs 6.7 ounces.
I can’t wait till mid-July for the 21 week scan. 21 week scan because they couldn’t get a decent image last time so hopefully delaying it a week should make it clearer. Hopefully everything will be ok.
Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Today is “Eat Your Vegetables Day.” What vegetable do you love to eat? Hate?
I like Carrots, and I like Brussell sprouts. But which one is better.. Fiiiiiggggghhhhttt.
In all seriousness it would more than likely be carrots. The way I always love cooking them which is done with some nice fresh ones. Peeled, put into simmering water, raise to the boil and then reduce to simmer again. Leave it for like 15mins, drain, put in some butter, cover and put back on the cooling hob, stick a lid on. Shake it about at bit and then then drain butterness into something, put down the carrots and then drizzle on top.
Particularly nice with a home made mini pie. I made some really nice ones last week, I did it with stewed steak and beans. A weird combo but so nice. I used puff pastry for the tops and yum. I had enough of it left over (puff pastry) to make some the next day for dipping in soup.
Today was good. I had first aid training at St Johns ambulance place. It is next door to the McVities factory and you could smell biscuits wafting in all day. It was lovely. It was good, I actually enjoyed it. I was the only one for the company going, so I made friends with the random 20 or so people there. Partly because I was
used abused for every example. I had bandages on my head, arms, pretend to faint, example for recovery positions. It was amazing, they had an espresso maker which used fresh beans and it was free! I made a quadruple one and I was mimicking a hmming bird for the afternoon.
Long story short, I got a free pen, certificate (in the post) and I’m insured if some scum decide to sue me should they not be happy I administered first aid!
I wonder how I will react if I see something happening in the street. I suppose that is something everyone asks. How will you react if someone was in need of help in the middle of the street? I hope I don’t freeze and I take charge. I certainly hope I dont turn the other cheek and pretend something isnt happening, like you hear about so often on the news.
I guess you never know till you are tested!