One day I’ll start a post with good news.

I had a seizure from 12 pm to 2.30 pm. No recollection, just eerie muscle aching, head laying on desk. Fortunately, no dents in my head this time. I did bust my lip but that I don’t mind so much. So that’s the timer reset to today, for the driving license I need to have no seizures for 12 months. This was the longest I’ve been without seizures. 10 days. Well, it’s a start. I’m also trying to understand the symptoms so I can beat it and lie down before it happens. Since I don’t have a memory a few minutes prior or post, it makes it difficult.

Today has been a quiet day, I’ve been spending it either zoned out or hyper-vigilant, with music playing so it’s not too bad. Did the remote school run, asking the kids how their day was. It’s a nice thing for me as I feel more included in their lives. Granted, I can’t do much remotely, but I do control the good behavior system and allocate money depending on the job. I started thinking they were making up what they said they were doing, so new photo evidence is required before payment of services, which S did without arguing.

Ugh. Hate this spaced-out feeling. My eyes are heavy despite heavy rubbing, just in case it was the moisturizer that I put on. But no. I slip between awake and doing things, to half-sleep energy drained. Wonder what’s causing it.

The flat

Good news though, it’s almost the 29th when the flat will be ready. I’ve been checking in for what seems like forever to see if it’s done earlier but no. I can’t buy anything yet till I’ve seen the inside of the flat and can plan where things go.

My priorities:

  1. Pay a week’s worth of rent as a deposit.
  2. Use saved money to get a man with a van to move everything Doti has packed.
  3. If the oven and stove are working, great. If not, pick up an air fryer from FB Marketplace.
  4. Get some sort of bed to sleep on. The council said they’d help with that.

If I can get these four main priorities done, then I’ll be really happy. There are a few things to take apart from the cartons, such as a coffee machine, budgies, a chest of drawers that currently live on top of each other, a white foldaway desk, and my chair. I also need to look for a sofa, so off to the charity shops I go. It needs to be a sofa bed as I’ll be sleeping on it until I can afford a bed, unless the council puts one in before I move in. Otherwise, I have plenty of blankets.

flat white and blue striped throw pillow on white bed
Photo by La Miko on Pexels.com

QOTD – Space

What’s your favorite month of the year? Why?

Ignoring this year, because it’ll be the first christmas alone.

So typically from october to april are my favourite months. by far. it’s dark early and dark late both of which really appeal to me. I love night time, especially with crisp night air. Right now i go outside the hotel, sit on a bench and look up for 20 mins hoping to find something. Not sure what I was looking for to be honest really, so many stars.

Seizures. Surprise Surprise

It’s been a weird day. I was supposed to go see the kids, but I had 3 seizures last night and didn’t fall asleep until 6am. So when I got up at 11am, I was very groggy. I banged my forehead again (zero recollection) and lost 3 hours. Then it happened again at midnight and then an hour at 2.30am. I can still hardly walk to the bathroom and back. Hell, even typing this is difficult as my fingers are still cold (heating is on). Staring at the screen makes me want to throw up.

Oh wait there is more moaning

I got everything ready for a shower the other day. Due to mental health reasons, I don’t shower as much, so I sink-wash. But when I work myself up enough, I go for a proper shower. Moving on, I got into the shower, turned it on, and started doing my hair. Then I noticed the drain is clogged. Since it’s a walk-in shower, it rapidly overflowed. I stopped the shower, got out, and tried to see what’s clogging it, but couldn’t.

Then the pain started as soon as I got up. It felt like someone stabbed me in the lower back, poured petrol on it, and lit it. So, back to being on hands and knees, wet and freezing. Stupid me didn’t take my stick with me, so I managed to grab a towel and dry myself on the floor. Then, hands and knees to my stick, then over to the chair and pulled myself up before getting some painkillers. The bathroom is a mess, but I thought I’ll take care of it later. Ugh. Frikkin’ showers. I told the receptionist that it’s broken, and she smiled and said, “Oh, I don’t know how to fix that, but I’ll leave them a note. It will be Monday or Tuesday, I’m guessing.” Stupid seizures, stupid shower and stupid me.

Today i’ve pretty much done nothing. watched some random stuff and playing a game and annoying people online.

A dull post am afraid.

Place – QOTD – Favourite

What is your favorite place to go in your city?

On the outskirts of Greater Manchester is a city called Stockport. At night, if you head to the hills, you can see the whole of Manchester in one shot. Well, almost. This shot is taken from my car during one of the many trips to the area in 2011-2012.

This is my English happy place. There is a Welsh one, but that’s a story for another time!


So I've been keeping myself busy the past couple of days with the charity work which seems to be undergoing some crisis at the moment. Something to do with funding and them scrambling to sort out bids. Fortunately, I'm not involved in that side of it, but just the tech side of stuff. So day to day refurbishing, issuing plans, and arranging drop-offs and collections. It helps them. It helps me by keeping me grounded and busy.

I've been looking at different jobs on LinkedIn and found a few I would like to try; they are remote roles which is perfect for me and the mental health stuff. Just trying to find a part-time one so I can keep up the other stuff.

I think answering the job QOTD led me down this path and started to make me think that paid employment should be tried again. I keep going through loops of working and not working depending on how bad things are. They aren't stable at the moment, but that doesn't mean I should stop helping people. The job side, I'm just looking at for the moment so maybe I have something in place when I eventually move out of this godforsaken hotel/motel. They still aren't putting the heating on, but my secret weapon came yesterday: a heated blanket. So I've put it under the sheets to lay on and then duvet and another fleece on top of that. Shall be giving it a test run once I've finished the blog.

So my brother just called after ripping his sore tooth out. He got drunk first and then started pulling. It saves what would be £200 for an extraction by a dentist, which he just didn't have spare the past few months. Quite a sad state of affairs in this country when people have a DIY extraction as a solution rather than getting it done professionally. I said I'd have a look around for any antibiotics I can send him just in case it gets infected. Told him to stick a wedge/roll of tissue in the gap and hold it there until it stops bleeding. Hopefully, he won't pass out and choke on his own blood. Crisis. Crisis indeed.

I was up at four am this morning with mind-numbing earache on my left hand side. It came out of nowhere. Fortunately, I have medication I can take, codeine, and that killed it after about an hour. I managed to get back to sleep at 8 am and was up for 11 am to get the day started.

Tomorrow I'm back on emails and meetings to keep me busy. It's Suzi's birthday on Friday, so looking forward to that. We've managed to get an iPad sorted for her birthday with all the frills (case, protector, and drawing pen). Throw in a takeaway, and it's a party. It'll be nice getting it all set up for her, but she's old enough to do all that herself now. 14. That's just crazy. Rebecca will be coming over on Sunday as well; she's asked to go to a cafe for quality time. I found a place not too far from D's house, so we will hobble over to it Sunday morning. Hopefully, it's open. As I can't drive if it isn't, so the backup plan is cake and tea at D's house.

Looking forward to going to a warm bed. 6°C outside, means the room is pretty cold. The heating is still only an hour in the morning and an hour at night. Jumpers are fine during the day, but heated blanket, I love you.

crisis white paper on a vintage typewriter
Photo by Markus Winkler on Pexels.com

Moon cheese QOTD

Daily writing prompt
How much would you pay to go to the moon?

Moon cheese. If the moon were made out of cheese, I would funnel all my millions into a ticket to fly there. The endless possibilities of a moon made of cheese would be immense. I wonder what it would taste like. Probably chalky, which definitely would be a bad thing. Investing all that money to find out it’s made of chalky cheese? Nah.

In all honesty, I think anyone with nearly enough money to pay to go to the moon should try investing it here on Earth first. Food banks, hospitals, schools, digital poverty, and poverty itself, for that matter. There are far more needy causes on this planet before we start screwing around with space tourism. I’m more than happy with NASA, Europe, and the rest of the world exploring and things. It just stings a bit when someone could potentially spend millions to get a ticket to the moon.

Science, yay. Citizens, nay.

But then again, if they have earned the money, they should be able to spend it how they like. It must be a question of morality. I honestly didn’t think this question would be that loaded. If you have the money to burn and that money towards a ticket is then used to further enhance our technology or offset the cost, then I’m all for it.

It was the same with the Titanic incident where the explorers all lost their lives on the way down. It was their money, they knew the risks, and that’s ultimately the price you can end up paying. So, would it be a safe thing to do? Argh, I’m now just rambling at this point.


Moon cheese. I’ll stick with that answer.

half moon at nighttime
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Food, glorious food QOTD

Daily writing prompt
What food would you say is your specialty?

Dad food. Anything I can put in the air fryer: sausages, chips, beans. But actual cooking skill comes in the form of mini lessons D used to give me when she had the patience. I can make a nice honey roast gammon that just melts, thrice-cooked wedges, roasted parsnips, and carrots. A Sunday roast.

I used to love baking but fell out of love with that long ago. I wanted to experiment with petit fours, but all my cooking molds got thrown away, might take it up again when I’ve moved into the flat. Yes, the flat. I’m still waiting for them to finish sorting out the electrics. Much to the chagrin of the council who have to pay for my motel expenses to keep me here. That’s a rant for another post.

I can do spaghetti, oh, and I can make an awesome tuna pasta bake with a thick layer of molten cheese. Come to think of it, at one point, I was using the Cookidoo to make decent meals. It took a lot of tinkering at first, but I guess I’ve learned a fair few dishes. S doesn’t like cheese and is particular about texture, so we used to draw up a list of meals she liked and we would all build a menu.

That makes my heart hurt again. Sunday roasts and planning meals. Something I’ll never get to do again. At least not yet. There are plans in motion.

food dad food delicious burger with fried egg and fries
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